There’s a little devil in you. There’s a little devil in me. Marriage does need a lot of work. A lot of understanding. A lot of give and take.
I always thought that if you find your soul mate you can say whatever you want to say, whenever you want to say it. Yet being in a lifetime relationship reveals that there is wisdom in prudence. Sometimes keeping your mouth is the best way to address a problem.
Yet, not all the time. Unsaid words, if left to fester in your heart will inevitably turn into ugly, infectious bitterness. There should always be a venue for venting. Let writing be a temporary relief. Nothing can take the place of confrontation to set things right.
It’s one of those days when both of you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Every answer is a curt reply, every silence seems like irritation. You don’t know what’s bothering you, you just feel cranky and you’re passing on the sour mood to one another since there’s no one else around. Talk about Together forever.
It’s these moments that you realize, you’re inching your way out of the honeymoon phase. 2 years and counting, some people will say it’s about time.
Patience seems shorter, Temper-flares more frequent. No more sugar-coating. Distracted kisses and sweet nothings.
It’s alarm phase all over again. First few times it hurts like hell. You feel like he’s changing. You’re still in denial.A few more times and you re-examine yourself, maybe you need to clean up your act, yourself. Then there comes a time when you take it for what it really is. Sometimes it hurts more, other times it hurts less. Still, you go on with life, trying to get through the awkward momentary cold curtain or the hot-headed debates.
It’s one of those moments that you stop and assess the situation and see where you stand. Honesty is the key to this analysis. Was he out of line? Was it you at fault? Did your deed warrant his reaction? And then you gauge the appropriate response to control the situation.
It’s an exhausting cycle sometimes. You heart aches with the realization that life’s not all that peachy and that you’re both human and have a long list of flaws you have to work on.
The important thing is not to lose RESPECT. Respect for each other and respect for one’s self. Let not pride get in the way but keep the conscious effort to accord respect to each other as individuals whose dignity is worthy to be recognized.
Sometimes in a relationship, one’s personality tends to get swallowed by the other . Yet, if you are equals, you do not let that happen. Sometimes, in guilt, one loses identity to appease the other. Yet if you are both grounded, then everything can be smoothed out with communication. Sometimes, You see things in the other you haven’t seen before and that you don’t entirely like. If you are soul mates, then you understand that neither one of you is perfect and that acceptance is the key.
Yup. Marriage can sometimes be a struggle. Without mutual respect, it becomes a struggle for dominance; one party trying to come up for air. Marriage is a struggle with one self- to defend your pride and to accept your inadequacies. Marriage is a struggle to reconcile ideals and to handle what reality hands you on your plate.
It is not for the faint-hearted. It’s much more than the mini-strokes you experienced with previous broken-hearts. This is forever and it takes endurance to see it through to the ever-after you envisioned for yourself and your loved one.
There are devils in each of us. They come out at our weakest moments. Either me let them take over or make them take cover. It takes two to make these things go right. =)
August 29, 2011 10:55 pm
